The Bully
By Molly Carter
Pediatric cancer, “The Bully”, childhood leukemia, The Princess Warrior. I could fill your head with a lot of statistics but who wants to know sad, tragic numbers? Believe me statistics don’t help. There’s no way to sugar coat cancer. The truth is CANCER SUCKS!!! Cancer doesn’t discriminate and too many pay the ultimate sacrifice. Every three minutes somewhere in the world a family is hearing their child has been diagnosed with cancer. Each year in the U.S. there are an estimated 15,780 children between the ages of birth and 19 years of age who are diagnosed with cancer. Approximately 1 in 285 children in the U.S. will be diagnosed with cancer before their 20th birthday. For Jane she was eight, she wasn’t going to see nine.
The Princess Warrior has played a huge roll in my life. I try to live more “Jane Like” every day. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing the Lorentz family for more than 20 years. More than a lifetime for some pediatric cancer patients.
I lived in Wadena for 21 years and worked for Jane’s parents at the Nite Owl in Wadena. Jane was sweet, spunky and full of life! I remember running to the grocery store with Jane to get supplies one day. Jane held my hand the entire time we got our groceries. I will never forget that day. For the first time in my life, I understood how someone could love a child unconditionally. I knew in that short fifteen minute grocery trip this little girl had total faith in me. She trusted I’d keep her safe and get her back home. Jane always had a smile! I enjoyed seeing her creativity and her imagination. Her love for her family was second to none! When I say I live more “Jane Like” this is what I strive for.
Jane came home from Children’s Hospital knowing the reality that she was going to heaven. Her final art project completed, all her family and friend surrounded her. She was ready but why wasn’t I?
The days after Janes death I saw Jil, Katie Rae, Anna, Danny, Pat all the Lorentz and Fiemeyer family. I was in awe of Jil as she gave Jane’s eulogy. I felt guilty crying when Jil was so strong. I was numb. Life just passed by. Work, home, family, friends, eat, sleep repeat. The days went by and the numbness still remained. A great sadness overwhelmed me and I couldn’t shut it off. I finally talked to God and asked him to help me. Help me to understand, help me to heal. Help me figure out why I am so sad. Why am I so sad? I finally received some clarity. My best friend Amanda, who’s the same age as me has a son. Amanda’s son Kyler was the same age as Jane, in the same grade. In another life I could’ve been a mother. I could’ve been grieving for my child just as Jil grieves Jane. My child could’ve died of Cancer. By putting myself in the parent role I was finally able to come to terms with my great sadness. God helped me to find clarity and peace. I am not a mother, I have never had children but for the first time since Jane’s death I felt peace. God holds all the little children in the palm of his hand and I can’t wait for the day I reunite with all who have gone before me.
Jane was ready. God healed her. God took her beautiful little hand and holds it forever! Forever keeping her safe!
Cancer means something different to everyone. At some point in your life you will deal with it. May we all have the courage of the Princess Warrior! Fight the good fight! Hold onto God! He will call us home! God has perfect timing in everything. I am so thankful for Jane. Sweet girl you are loved and remembered always and forever!
I have given you stats, bio, life events and how I worked through the loss of Jane. Why is this important? It’s important to me because Faith = Living More “Jane Like”! I have found answers and peace by asking and seeking God. I’ve grown in my faith. Without Jane I may not have gained my relationship with God. Faith and God are sometimes the only things that get me through the day!
It’s been my honor to share this blog with you and it’s my hope that you have enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to read my words. God Bless!
Molly Carter is a Class of 2000 Wadena-Deer Creek Graduate. She is a Personal Banking Representative at Bell Bank and currently lives in Fergus Falls with her sister Sadie. Molly has known Jane's mom and her family for more than 20 years and previously worked for Jane's parents at the Nite Owl in Wadena.
